Starting school with confidence: a gentle plan for the weeks before September

Teachers in junior infants are not expecting a child who can read. They are hoping for a child who can manage a coat, open a lunchbox, ask for the toilet, and cope with being one of thirty rather than the centre of the room.

Those are practical skills, and every one of them can be practised at home in a fortnight without a single worksheet. Let your child open their own lunchbox at the kitchen table. Let them struggle with the zip before you step in.

The rest — letters, numbers, writing their name — is the school's job. You are not behind.

Children settle faster when the rhythm is already familiar. Two weeks out, start shifting bedtime and waking in fifteen-minute steps rather than all at once, and eat lunch at the time they will eat it in school.

Walk or drive the route once or twice so the journey is known. If the school runs a visit morning, go — the building being ordinary matters more than anything you can describe.

Predictability is what frees a child to be curious. If the day has a known shape, their energy goes into the classroom instead of bracing for the unknown.

A little and often works. Long, earnest conversations about how exciting it will be can read to a child as a signal that something worrying is coming.

Answer the questions they actually ask, in small honest pieces: who will be there, what happens first, where you will be, and when you are coming back. 'After little break and lunch' means more than a clock time.

Leave room for mixed feelings. 'Some of it will be brilliant and some of it will be tiring' is more useful, and more true, than promising it will all be lovely.

Short, warm and predictable beats long and wobbly. One hug, one sentence you use every day, and go. Slipping away while they are distracted almost always makes the next morning harder, because it teaches them to keep watch.

Tears at the door are not evidence of a mistake. They are evidence that you matter. Most children settle within minutes — ask the teacher rather than guessing.

Expect a dip two or three weeks in, when the newness wears off and the tiredness lands. It usually passes with consistency rather than change.

The hours after school are where the day gets digested. Most children need food, movement and quiet before they can talk, so the car-park interrogation rarely works.

Skip 'what did you do today?' for a while. 'Who did you sit beside?' or simply being nearby while they play will get you more.

Keep the evenings unusually plain for the first month. Big feelings at home after a contained day are normal — it means they held it together where they needed to.

Our in-person evening in Gorey is built for exactly these weeks: a small, warm group of parents in the same boat, tea, coffee and treats, and guidance from Amy rather than a lecture. You leave with a plan for your child, not a leaflet.

A note on scope: Amy Byrne is an early years educator currently studying a Level 9 postgraduate in play therapy, and is not a qualified play therapist. These sessions are education and support for adults. If you are worried about your child's development, speak to your GP or public health nurse.